ADHD & The Secret Language of Stimming

Let’s talk about something most people don’t even realize they’re doing, especially those of us with ADHD.

Stimming.
It sounds like a quirky buzzword, but it’s actually one of the most powerful tools our brains use to cope, focus, regulate, and survive. But first, a short description of what ADHD is:

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain regulates attention, focus, emotions, and impulse control. For me, it’s like having 47 tabs open in my brain, and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Some days I’m scattered and forget everything. On other days, I’m hyperfixated on one task, as if it’s my entire reason for existing. Some days I chase noise, some days I chase silence, but everything I do is led by a brain wired for intensity.

I’m not a doctor or a mental health professional - I’m just sharing my own lived experience with ADHD in hopes that it helps someone else feel seen. Always speak to a qualified professional if you think you might have ADHD or want help managing it.

What is stimming?

Stimming (short for self-stimulatory behavior) refers to repetitive movements or sounds we make to help our brains regulate the nervous system. These actions aren’t random or “weird”; they’re adaptive. They’re how we calm ourselves, release tension, increase alertness, or even just feel something consistent in a chaotic world.

People stim for many reasons:

• Emotional regulation
• Enhancing or maintaining focus
• Calming sensory overload
• Creating a reliable sensory rhythm
• Getting that sweet hit of dopamine our ADHD brains often crave

And no, it’s not always a cry for help. Sometimes it just feels good.

Common ADHD Stims

• Clicking pens repeatedly
• Bouncing your leg (especially under the table)
• Chewing on straws, hoodie strings, or sleeves
• Doodling during meetings or conversations
• Hair twirling, braiding, or pulling at split ends
• Playing with rings, bracelets, or fidget toys
• Pacing around the room while thinking or talking
• Tapping fingers on desks, thighs, or keyboards
• Snapping or stretching rubber bands
• Humming under your breath
• Cracking knuckles or joints
• Stroking or rubbing textures (like blankets, fabric, or skin)

Sound familiar? Thought so.

Less Obvious (But Totally Valid) Stims

These don’t always get talked about, but they matter just as much:

• Rewatching the same show or scene on loop because it brings comfort
• Repeating the same phrase or word under your breath
• Making mouth sounds, beatboxing, or whispering nonsense syllables
• Tapping each tooth with your tongue in a rhythmic pattern
• Rocking slightly in your chair without realizing it
• Tracing shapes on your skin or face with your fingers
• Repetitive sniffing of familiar scents (lotions, markers, candles)
• Running fingers through hair or scalp in the same pattern
• Playing the same part of a song again and again just for that “release” moment
• Rubbing feet together in bed or against the mattress
• Scratching or gently tapping the same spot repeatedly
• Holding your breath briefly and then releasing it with a sigh (yep, that too)

If you’re nodding along, congratulations, you’re fluent in the secret language of your own brain ♥

Why Stimming Matters

Stimming isn’t just some random side-effect of ADHD. It’s a self-regulation strategy our brains developed for a reason.

✅ It helps release emotional pressure when things get too intense.
✅ It sharpens focus when the world feels foggy.
✅ It gives the brain a dose of dopamine, that chemical we’re often chasing without realizing it.
✅ It softens the edges of sensory overwhelm.
✅ It builds a rhythm when time and structure feel slippery.

Some stims are barely noticeable. Others might draw comments or stares. Either way, they’re not wrong. They’re not embarrassing. And they sure as hell aren’t a problem unless they start causing harm (to yourself or others).

Let’s Cut the Shame

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you regulate yourself.

If someone tells you to “stop fidgeting,” they’re not seeing the full picture. That small repetitive action could be the very thing keeping you grounded in a moment of sensory chaos or emotional overwhelm. You don’t need to justify your existence, your regulation tools, or your coping mechanisms, especially when they’re helping you.

Fidgeting, pacing, humming, chewing, tapping… these aren’t bad habits. They’re survival tools. Sometimes they’re unconscious, sometimes intentional. But either way, they’re yours. And they work.

So what now?

Become aware. Notice your stims without judgment. Track what helps, what soothes, and what energizes.

If you’re constantly chewing on pens, maybe try chewable jewelry. If your fingers won’t stop tapping, maybe a fidget cube or textured keychain will scratch that itch. If rocking helps, don’t fight it. Find what works, and keep it.

This is your nervous system doing what it was built to do: adapt.

So the next time you find yourself bouncing your leg under the dinner table, don’t apologize. Just smile. That’s your body keeping you steady.

And if you ever feel like your stimming is “too much”? No, you’re not too much. You’re just regulating ♥

One bounce, one tap, one doodle at a time.

If this resonated with you, feel free to share your favorite stims or what helps you stay grounded. We’re building a judgment-free space where neurodivergent brains aren’t only accepted, they’re celebrated.

I’m not a doctor or a mental health professional - I’m just sharing my own lived experience with ADHD in hopes that it helps someone else feel seen. Always speak to a qualified professional if you think you might have ADHD or want help managing it.