100 Alternatives to Self-Harm
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✨ Trigger Warning: Mentions of self-harm. Please read with care.
If you’re reading this and you’re in pain, I see you. And I need you to hear this: you are not alone.
There’s no shame in struggling. There’s no shame in being overwhelmed. But I know what it’s like when the storm inside gets too loud, when the numbness bites deeper than pain ever could, and when hurting yourself feels like the only way to feel something. Or to escape everything.
But please, if you’re at risk, reach out. Call a crisis line. Message a friend. Tell someone. Your life matters more than you know.
And if you’re fighting the urge right now, these alternatives are here to help; some are distractions, some are emotional releases, some reconnect you with your body or your breath. Not all of them will work. But one might. And that might be enough to get you through this moment.
Keep breathing. Stay with me. You are loved.
Healthy Alternatives to Self-Harm
Groupings below are loosely categorized for easier navigation — choose what speaks to your heart today.
When You Need to Let It Out
- Scream into a pillow
- Smash ice cubes in the bathtub
- Tear up newspapers, old magazines, or scrap paper
- Punch a pillow or mattress
- Scribble furiously on a blank page
- Write your pain down, then rip the paper into pieces
- Throw paint at a canvas
- Break twigs outside
- Build a pillow fort and rage inside it
- Scream your pain into the wind (or your car)
When You Need to Cry or Feel
- Allow yourself to cry without shame
- Watch a movie that always makes you cry
- Light a candle and sit with your feelings
- Hold your favorite soft object or plushie
- Put a band-aid on the area you want to harm, remind yourself you’re already healing
- Hug yourself tightly and whisper something kind
- Wrap yourself in a warm blanket like a cocoon
- Write a letter to your younger self
- Journal everything you’re feeling, no filter
- Talk to yourself out loud like a friend would
When You Need Distraction
- Reorganize your room or bookshelves
- Alphabetize your favorite books
- Make a vision board or dream list
- Browse online and make a “someday” wishlist
- Do a brain game (word search, Sudoku, puzzle)
- Try making origami
- Color-coordinate your wardrobe
- Sort photos, delete the ones you no longer need
- Watch funny YouTube clips
- Scroll animal videos (yes, seriously)
When You Need to Be Creative
- Draw or doodle on your skin with pens instead of blades
- Paint your nails a wild new color
- Try finger painting
- Bake something from scratch
- Decorate your mirror with affirmations
- Write poetry (even if it’s messy)
- Record yourself speaking your truth, even if no one hears it
- Create a Spotify playlist that holds you like a friend
- Try photography, even with your phone
- Learn a silly TikTok dance
When You Need to Ground Your Body
- Breathe deeply – 4 in, hold for 7, out for 8
- Do gentle yoga or stretching
- Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method: 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste
- Take a cold shower or splash cold water on your face
- Lie down and feel your heartbeat
- Apply lavender oil to your wrists or temples
- Chew gum and focus on the sensation
- Eat something with texture (crunchy, sour, spicy)
- Soothe your feet with a tennis ball roll
- When You Need Connection
- Cuddle your pet or someone else’s
- Call a friend and talk about anything
- Text someone “thinking of you”
- Join an online support group or safe community
- Do a kind thing anonymously
- Volunteer – even just helping one person can ease the ache
- Visit a park and people-watch
- Feed ducks or birds
- Write a supportive comment on a stranger’s post
- Say out loud: “I am worthy of love, even when I don’t feel it.”
When You Need to Play or Escape
- Build a Lego structure
- Rewatch your favorite childhood cartoon
- Put on a silly outfit and strut like a model
- Play video games
- Try making slime
- Blow bubbles outside
- Go on a solo adventure to a new part of town
- Dance like nobody’s watching (or like everyone is)
- Take a walk and name every color you see
- Sing at the top of your lungs
If the Urge Feels Unbearable…
- Delay. Put a timer on for 5 minutes. Then another 5. And again.
- Each time, tell yourself: “I made it. That was strong.”
- Snap a rubber band gently on your wrist and breathe through the sensation
- Place ice on your wrists or hands
- Cover the spot you want to harm with tattoos, marker art, or band-aids
- Write “I need care” on your skin — and listen to it
- Imagine the harm going elsewhere (like into the earth ) instead of your body
🆘 Still Feeling Overwhelmed?
Please don’t sit alone with that feeling.
Call a crisis line. Message a friend. Walk into a hospital. Do anything but hurt yourself.
You’re not broken, you’re human. And being human is messy and painful and beautiful and complicated.
There are so many paths. So many people you haven’t met yet. So many moments are still waiting for you. Let yourself stay. Even if you don’t believe it now, healing is real. Relief is possible. Hope exists.
You deserve safety. You deserve comfort.
And above all, you deserve to live.
If this helped you, please share it. You never know who might be quietly holding themselves together with a thread.
If that someone is you, I’m proud of you for staying.
You’re not alone. Not ever.
With love,
🖤 Scarlet
