Mental Actions That Will Make You Feel Physically Worse

When you live with chronic pain and fatigue, so much feels out of your control. Weather, hormones, stress, the way you slept, any of it can throw your body into chaos. But what we don’t talk about enough is how the way we think, the stuff that plays on repeat in our minds, can quietly make everything feel worse.

Pain isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. Mental. Spiritual. And the thoughts we feed it? They can either help us breathe through it or tighten the grip. So here’s a list of mental habits I’ve had to call out in myself, things that make my body feel heavier and my heart more drained. Maybe you’ll recognize some of them too. And maybe this is the reminder you didn’t know you needed.

1. Getting Stuck in “Why Me” Mode
You can cry. You can scream. You can fall apart. That’s allowed. But if you let your mind live in the pity loop for too long, the pain grows roots.
It is ok to feel, but you don’t need to unpack and live there forever. You are not your illness. Even brushing your hair counts as a comeback.

2. Being Afraid of Change
When your body has betrayed you so many times, trying something new feels risky. What if it makes things worse? What if you fail again?
But staying stuck is also a choice. A painful one.
What if it helps? What if this new thing is the one that actually gives you a tiny bit of your life back?

Try. Adjust. Try again. That’s healing.

3. Obsessing Over Things You Can’t Control
Overthinking, rehashing conversations, blaming yourself for things already done, all of that takes energy. Energy you don’t have to waste.Letting go isn’t weakness. It’s choosing peace over mental clutter.
Use that space to rest, to take care of your nervous system, to stretch your body or sip some tea. That’s where your power lives now, in what you can still do.

4. Saying Yes When You Mean No
Maybe you say yes to avoid guilt or to avoid disappointing people but, you end up betraying your body instead.
Chronic pain is already a full-time job. You can’t afford to hand out energy you don’t have. Practice saying no without overexplaining. Without apologizing. Without guilt. NO means NO. You don’t need to explain why you said no. You know how your body works and nobody is walking on your shoes but you.
Protect your peace like it’s medicine. Because it is.

5. Comparing Yourself to Other People
Social media is a minefield. You see someone with chronic illness hiking mountains, building businesses, and your brain starts whispering, “Why can’t you do that?”
But we don’t all have the same pain. The same capacity. The same “luck”.
Their journey is not yours to mimic. Let it inspire you if you can. Learn from it, but don’t let it steal your worth. You’re allowed to heal slow. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to do less than others.

6. Expecting Quick Fixes
You want something to finally work. You’re exhausted from trying. So when a new pill or treatment doesn’t give you instant results, it feels like failure, but healing doesn’t happen overnight. It happens in weeks, in months, sometimes in years. Small changes add up. Stay curious. Track your symptoms. Trust the long game.

Celebrate what others might call “tiny progress”, because we both know it’s not tiny to you.

7. Bottling It All Up
You tell yourself to be strong. You don’t want to burden anyone. So you carry it all inside… the fear, the frustration, the grief, but silence gets heavy. It builds pressure in your chest. Talk about it. Even if it’s with a journal. Even if it’s a voice note you never send.

You deserve to be heard, even by yourself.

8. Forgetting the Good Moments
Pain has a way of overshadowing everything. But not every day is only pain. Some moments are quiet, some mornings are soft or some nights you laugh until your ribs hurt.

Don’t forget those. Write them down. Return to them. Let them remind you that joy still visits. That light still gets in.

9. Overplanning or Overcommitting
You tell yourself you’ll get everything done tomorrow… the cleaning, the errands, the messages. Then tomorrow comes and you crash, and the guilt kicks in.
Give yourself permission to do less, to not fill every hour, to leave space for naps… for nothing, for grace. You can do things slowly, each day one, don’t overdo.

Living with chronic illness means planning differently. And no, you’re not lazy.

10. Thinking Rest Means Failure
Rest is medicine. Rest is what keeps you going. But when you live in a world that glorifies productivity, it’s easy to think resting means you’re weak or lazy.

No. Rest is part of the work now. Honor it.

What Can You Do Instead?

• Talk to yourself with compassion, not cruelty
• Keep a daily energy log so you can spot patterns
• Set boundaries that protect your healing
• Replace “I should have” with “I did what I could”
• Learn what soothes your nervous system
• Find your tiny rituals (even lighting a candle counts)
• Forgive your body. Forgive your past. Stay in today

Truth Is, I’ve Done Every One of These
There are days I overthink myself into the ground. I relive every word I said, every decision I made. I compare, I spiral…. And then I wonder why I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. But I’m learning, slowly, to pause. To breathe. To choose again.
To stop expecting myself to heal perfectly.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you’re allowed to rest. You don’t need to earn your it. You don’t need to prove your pain. You’re already doing so much just by waking up and trying.

This space is here for you. And I am too. Let’s heal the way our bodies need: quietly, softly, and with truth. One breath at a time. One shift at a time. One act of care at a time. 💛