Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

I’m tired.

No… that’s not even the right word. I’m fatigued. Exhausted. Drained in a way no amount of sleep could ever fix.

I’m tired of having to constantly reintroduce myself – and my mental illnesses.
Tired of being asked “How are you?” and having no idea how to answer. Do I say, Yeah, I’m fine, I’m safe, I’m functioning! Or do I say, honestly? My brain keeps acting like my life is a fucking horror movie and I’m the final girl waiting for the next jump scare.

I’m tired of needing to emotionally gear up every time I have to advocate for myself when I need medical care.

Tired of people thinking I’m dramatic or just another hypochondriac.

Tired from overthinking. Drained from constantly putting everyone else first, while I get shoved to the bottom of my own list. I’m so far from content, it’s… gross.

I’m tired of good sleep being rare. Tired of using all my “free time” for self-care instead of doing the things that actually feed me – my passions, my weird little hobbies, the stuff that makes me feel like me.

I’m tired of depending on caffeine just to survive the day, only to get side-eyed and lectured about it like it’s a character flaw.

If you live with mental illness, you already know the exhaustion.
It’s not just tired. It’s bone-deep. It’s having to convince yourself to brush your teeth, answer a message, or take a shower. It’s mental gymnastics just to exist.

Friends and family often don’t get it. They can’t understand why we’re so wiped out all the time. And honestly? Neither can I.
But I know it’s real.

Because people with mental illness don’t sleep properly. Our brains don’t know how to turn off. We’re tired because we’re fighting invisible battles 24/7.

I’m tired of hearing:
“Why are you always tired?”
“Just suck it up.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“It’s all in your head.”
“Stop being so negative.”
“Stop complaining.”
“Stop being lazy.”

I don’t even remember what it feels like to have natural energy or go through a day without my body or mind staging some kind of mutiny. I want to get there. I hope it’s possible. But no one seems to know how to make it happen.

So when I say I’m tired…
Please understand – I’m talking about years and years of emotional and physical exhaustion. This isn’t about one bad day.
This is about carrying the weight of my mind and body every single day and still showing up.