“The day after my suicide… – A Letter

The day after my suicide, I loved my mother even more, when I saw her crying on the floor of my room, hugging my clothes with my photos scattered around her, I saw so much love past the tears in her eyes.

The day after my suicide, I felt how much my father loved me, no matter how hard it was, in the midst of so much sadness, he spoke to me with tears in his eyes about how proud he was of me and how much he loved me.

The day after my suicide. I saw that Tumble (my furry best friend) was more incredible than I could imagine. Every time someone came home, he would run to the door excited to see me, and seeing that it was not me, would lay down in front of the door and continue waiting for me.

The day after my suicide. I felt the love of my sister when I saw her sitting in her room with eyes full of tears. She remembered the times we played, talked, and argued together in our beautiful childhood. Treasured moments.

The day after my suicide. I felt how important I was to my best friends. They were looking at all our pictures together… remembering the laughs we shared.

The day after my suicide. I felt the sorrow in my teachers. They blamed themselves for not noticing.

At night I went to the morgue to look for myself. I was upset. I looked at myself and said: “So many dreams we had”, “So many loved ones”, “So many people to meet”, “You had so many people that loved you, yet you threw it all away?”, “You have to have a lot of courage to take your life. Why didn’t you use that courage to win?”

Thank goodness that was just a vision.

Remember. You are still here and can change your life forever. You are better than you think you are. Prettier, smarter, and stronger.