Skip to content

Moody Witch

You say witch like is a bad thing!

  • Home
    • Affiliate Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy
  • About
  • Gaming
    • Gaming Setup
    • Stream Commands
    • How To Support
  • Blog
    • Gaming
    • Journal
    • Wellness
  • Contact Me
  • Home
    • Affiliate Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy
  • About
  • Gaming
    • Gaming Setup
    • Stream Commands
    • How To Support
  • Blog
    • Gaming
    • Journal
    • Wellness
  • Contact Me
Journal

When Depression Hits You Again…and Again

What do you do when you know you’re falling into the deep pits of depression… again? You’ve been through this before. You’ve hurt yourself before and those who care about you. You beat this devil before. Why is the battle resurfacing again? You’ve been strong. You jumped through the hurdles that life threw at you. What changed? You grew distant. That’s what changed.

Today, I had a fucking relapse. Out of fucking nowhere, it hit me. The thought of dying crossed my mind again today. It’s not pleasant. I hate it.

So, typing this right now as I sit, staring blankly into my computer screen in my oh-so-familiar bedroom.

Depression is like a ghost of your own self and sometimes it even brings friends: anxiety and self-harm. You can’t see it and you think it’s gone. But every once in a while it makes you feel its presence again. You put your suit of armor around yourself and just carry on. Slowly, with time and the scratches from the attacks made by depression, the armor gets rusty and starts cracking with every new attack. Finally, you’re just there with no defense. Vulnerable and weak.

The last time you let people help you. Because you knew you needed help. But you saw what you put them through and it just hurt. You beat this devil with some help. Now times are tough again. Turns out you’re not as strong as you thought you were or maybe the troubles are just too troubling. Whatever it is, you know what being hurt feels like and that is why you don’t want to hurt those who care about you… again.

So you try to cope with it on your own. Walking around with the ghost that you can see now, sucking on your happiness and your soul, as it’s leaving you numb. It may wander off here and there from time to time but it leaves its eerie presence. You don’t want to fall to its prey. You run and run and run but it just follows you everywhere you go. The moment of weakness comes and you let the ghost take over. You give up.

What you need to do, my friend accepts that yes, you made a mistake in that said moment of weakness. But mistakes can always be rectified. Maybe you hurt someone, even yourself. Maybe you screwed up something important. Don’t worry. There’s always a second chance. If there’s not, life has something better coming. Hope is the only armor you need. Friendship and love are the only weapons you will need. Close the distance and ask for a helping hand. Hopefully, someone will be there for you.

Sorry for the post. I just wanted to vent somewhere. You guys probably don’t care, but I just needed to write it all out.

Stay strong in the battle against mental illness.

SHARE THIS
Bipolar DisorderDepressionJournalMental Health
About Scarlet

About Scarlet

Hello, nice to meet you!! Welcome to my “little personal space” where I write a bit of everything. I’ll be your host and guide through all things witchy, nerd, geek and mental health. From the bottom of my heart thank you for being here and following along! As above, so below – Blessed Be! ♥

Related Posts

“You’re as fake as the filter you use”
“You’re as fake as the filter you use”
Bucketlist – Things to do Before I Die…
Bucketlist – Things to do Before I Die…
Dear Self, Stay Strong
Dear Self, Stay Strong
100 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME
100 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

Post navigation

When you are too nice to people…
Okay to Not be Okay. Really!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Current Moon Phase


Waning Gibbous Moon
Waning Gibbous Moon

The moon is currently in Aquarius
The moon is 18 days old

Distance: 57 earth radii
Ecliptic latitude: -5 degrees
Ecliptic longitude: 301 degrees
Joe's

Popular Posts

Mental Health ➤ February 10, 2022

Weird Things Your Anxiety Makes You Do

Are you someone who suffers from anxiety? Then you must be able to relate and identify with all the weird things that your anxiety makes you do. Suffering from anxiety is similar to feeling like...

Read More
Journal ➤ August 4, 2022

“The day after my suicide… – A Letter

The day after my suicide, I loved my mother even more, when I saw her crying on the floor of my room, hugging my clothes with my photos scattered around her, I saw so much...

Read More
Mental Health ➤ June 19, 2022

Anxiety Triggers and What To Do When You Feel Anxious

In a world of growing mental health awareness, it comes as no surprise that anxiety is one of the leading diagnoses. While it’s perfectly normal to have some anxiety on a fleeting basis, it’s not...

Read More

Categories

  • Fibromyalgia
  • Gaming
  • Journal
  • Lifestyle
  • Mental Health
  • Nerd & Geek Stuff
  • Tea Magic
  • Twitch
  • Uncategorized
  • Witchcraft




Be happy. It drives people crazy.

Anonymous
  • Home
    • Affiliate Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy
  • About
  • Gaming
    • Gaming Setup
    • Stream Commands
    • How To Support
  • Blog
    • Gaming
    • Journal
    • Wellness
  • Contact Me
Copyright © 2023 | All Rights Reserved | Designed by Moody Witch
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Cookie SettingsAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT