How to Stay Positive in a Negative Situation

I know… It’s not always that easy.
Especially when you’re stuck in the middle of something painful.

Sometimes, it feels f**king impossible to stay positive, at least at first.

What’s important to remember is this: bad things happen to everyone, and most of the time, they’re completely out of our control.

You’re not alone. There are ways to get through it, even if right now you’re struggling to see how.

Here are some gentle reminders and steps to help you move forward, even when things feel heavy.

1. Allow yourself to feel before you heal

Before anything else, know this: it’s okay to feel.

It’s okay to be sad, angry, hurt, and heartbroken. You’re not weak for having emotions.

Learning to stay positive in hard times doesn’t mean ignoring the pain or pretending it doesn’t exist. It means feeling your feelings and owning your truth, so you can begin healing from it.

You don’t need to rush through your emotions. Acknowledging them is part of the healing process.

2. Practise self-care

During difficult times, self-care isn’t a luxury – it’s important.

And no, it doesn’t always mean bubble baths and candles. Sometimes, self-care is brushing your teeth, taking your meds, drinking enough water, and getting some rest.

Taking care of your basic needs helps ground you when everything else feels unstable.

3. Accept the situation at hand

Acceptance doesn’t mean you like what happened. It means you’ve stopped fighting against the reality of it.

You can’t control other people. You can’t force outcomes. What you can do is accept what is, so you can begin to move forward.

In the case of a breakup, for example, acceptance means recognizing that you can’t change how someone feels or make them stay. And that’s hard, but necessary.

4. Recognise that you control how you react

You may not control the situation, but you do control your reaction.

The way you choose to respond shapes your path forward. And how you react now teaches you how you’ll respond to hard things in the future.

Choosing a calm, grounded reaction is powerful. Owning your response is a form of self-respect.

5. Talk to someone you trust

You’ve heard it before: a problem shared is a problem halved. And it’s true.

Talking to someone helps you process your feelings and sometimes even see things more clearly.

Reach out to a close friend, a supportive family member, or a therapist. The goal isn’t to be fixed – it’s to be heard and held.

6. Find the silver lining (if you can)

Not every situation has a silver lining. And that’s okay.

But sometimes, even in the mess, there’s something to learn or gain. Strength. Clarity. A new direction. The end of something that wasn’t right for you.

You don’t need to find meaning right away, just stay open to the possibility that something better might come from it later.

7. Do something positive with your day

Even if it feels small. Even if your heart’s not in it.

Do something that pulls you forward, help someone, create something, clean something, start something.

You don’t have to be ready to feel good, but moving toward something positive helps shift your energy.

8. Keep positive people around you

The energy of those around you matters more than you think.

Be mindful of who you spend time with. Are they lifting you up? Or dragging you deeper into negativity?

Surround yourself with people who help you find your light, not people who dim it.

9. Rationalise: Are you overreacting?

Your feelings are valid, but sometimes they’re louder than they need to be.

Take a breath. Step back. Is the situation truly as bad as your mind is making it out to be?

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, but it’s also okay to challenge your thoughts and find a calmer perspective.

10. Don’t take it personally

Sometimes it feels personal, but it isn’t.

People make decisions based on their own limitations, pain, or path. That doesn’t mean you’re not worthy, lovable, or enough.

In a breakup, for example, it may feel like you weren’t good enough. But often, the reason lies within the other person’s needs or emotions — not your worth.

If you made mistakes, own them. But don’t turn someone else’s choice into proof that you’re not enough.

11. Start your day positively

How you start your morning matters.

Make your bed. Eat something nourishing. Get dressed. Brush your teeth. Open the curtains.

Even the smallest acts of structure can anchor you when everything feels out of place.

12. Practise gratitude and journaling

Write it out. Spill your thoughts. Let them have space.

Journaling helps you sort through the chaos in your head. And practising gratitude, even just one or two things each day, gently reminds you that not everything is falling apart.

You don’t need to feel grateful for the hard thing. You only need to notice something, anything, that’s still good.

You’re not expected to be perfect, love.
You’re allowed to hurt.
You’re allowed to take your time.

But don’t forget, you’re also allowed to heal.
And you will.

Even if it’s one quiet breath at a time.